Hellsing MSN
by Teh-Taco-Farie
Summary: my view if my 2 ocs me hellsing char. and whatch as they try not to kill each other fun yeah oh dont forget the smexy alucard
1. confuzzeld

**_MSN: With Hellsing Remade Yeah Sweat !!_**

Sup this is my first story _**remade**_ so its prly**_ less_** going to be random. I got the idea when I saw all the msn stories, but no Hellsing ones so I decided to make one. Oh there's a twist at the end so its not ooc.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Hellsing characters, but I do own Rin!

TheSnackFarie: has singed on

10 minutes later

TheNoLifeKing: has singed on

TheSnackFarie: FINALLY SOME ONES ON .

TheSnackFarie: HI

TheNoLifeKing: … hi

TheSnackFarie: what cha doing?

TheNoLifeKing: typing

TheSnackFarie:mmmmhhhhmmm

TheSnackFarie: i am whatching naruto abridged ep. 3

TheNoLifeKing: "_ask dont ask ask dont ask fuck it"_ naruto..abriged??

TheSnackFarie:you never heard of the abriged series

TheNoLifeKing: no.

TheSnackFarie: wow thats wow...

TheSnackFarie: ok go on and type ing abriged k

TheNoLifeKing: umm.. ok

12 poke hours later

TheSnackFarie: lallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

TheNoLifeKing: i am scared for life

TheSnackFarie: y

TheNoLifeKing: they had one with to many sexual refrences

TheSnackFarie: oh pokemon abriged dude how can that scar u for life

TheNoLifeKing: shud up

TheSnackFarie: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

TheNoLifeKing: ??

TheSnackFarie: do you have not have a life or something??

TheNoLifeKing: Huh??

TheSnackFarie: ur screen name…

TheNoLifeKing: oh I do i kill freaks

TheSnackFarie: thats mean just cus there diffrent dosnt mean there a freak

TheSnackFarie: hey do you like anime

TheNoLifeKing: yeah y not

TheSnackFarie: my current favret anime is hellsing

TheNoLifeKing: 0.o

TheNoLifeKing:o..k...

TheSnackFarie: its about a vampire named alucard and hes f-ing smexy and hes works for the

hellsing org. and stuff

TheSnackFarie:wait hold onn no life king freaks holyfuckingmonkeyballs ur alucard

TheNoLifeKing: ;)) yup

TheNoLifeKing:took long enough

TheSnackFarie: ……… NACCCHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSS

TheNoLifeKing: u ok

TheSnackFarie: im fine faints

TheSnackFarie: "wakes up and skips aroud" yay and yaysneesssss

TheSnackFarie: ring a round the rosie sings wit me alucard

TheNoLifeKing: no and how old are u five because ur acting like a little kid

TheSnackFarie: no im suger high and im sixteen for ur information….. Wait a minute child predator !!

!!

TheNoLifeKing: Whhaattt nooo its justt uummm

TheNoLifeKing: oh shit I have to go bye

TheNoLifeKing: has logged off

TheSnackFarie: What the douche??

TheSnackFarie: has logged off

Meanwhile at the Hellsing Organization…..

"Alucard" Seras why are in my room…

"Seras" ah… um… I was just..uh.. Leaving.. yeahh... leaving... (!!)

And with that said she halls ass.

Hmmm what's this msn…. The snack farie. w.t.h. SSSEEERRAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS

Meanwhile in New Orleans L.A.

A girl named Rin( a.k.a TheSnackFarie) decided to go back watch naruto abridged and get on msn later.

Yeah sweat .

**_Yeah I know it sucked ass but not as bad as the last one._**

Flames and constructive criticisms are welcome along with anything else.

I don't care if people don't like it. Im going to continue because I can not stand when someone starts a story and dose not finish it. Ok im out.


	2. anime time

Hellsing MSN

Tehtacofarie: has singed on

ILuVMuNKeS: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: SQQQUUUUEEEE

ILuVMuNKeS: sup rin

Tehtacofarie: we still up for anime night

ILuVMuNKeS: damn straight

Tehtacofarie: I got something to tell u !!

ILuVMuNKeS: if its about another taco dream no

Tehtacofarie: ok I have something else to tell u I meet some someone….

ILuVMuNKeS: aww my little rins in love B

Tehtacofarie: no some guy who said he was Alucard from Hellsing!!

ILuVMuNKeS: and u believed them …..

Tehtacofarie: ……. Maybe …. TOT sque he lied didn't he TT

ILuVMuNKeS: prly …yes rin he did im sry

TheNoLifeKing: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: SSSQQQQUUUUEEE THAT'S HIMMMM

TheNoLifeKing: ??

ILuVMuNKeS: why me? -.-

Tehtacofarie: you told me you were Alucard you lire ToT

Tehtacofarie: why would u do that

TheNoLifeKing: …I didn't Seras did

ILuVMuNKeS: WTF

Tehtacofarie: WTF

Tehtacofarie: Sque are u as confuzzeld as me??

ILuVMuNKeS: no I think this guy has problems

TheNoLifeKing: true

Tehtacofarie: if u really are Alucard I want proof NOW!!

TheNoLifeKing: o.0 why

Tehtacofarie: eBay

TheNoLifeKing: eBay?

Tehtacofarie: yes I will sell it on eBay to fangirls!!

TheNoLifeKing: …………

ILuVMuNKeS: that's cold rin

Tehtacofarie: hey you'll do the same but over priced

ILuVMuNKeS: true

TheNoLifeKing: !-.-

TheNoLifeKing: fine

TheNoLifeKing: there my display picture

Tehtacofarie: haven't we seen that some ware

ILuVMuNKeS: I don't know I think

TheNoLifeKing: -.-

TheNoLifeKing: what were you expecting

Tehtacofarie: I don't know sque

ILuVMuNKeS: hell if I know

ILuVMuNKeS: maybe we should just ask q's and a's

Tehtacofarie: ok

TheNoLifeKing: err fine

Tehtacofarie: ok me first me first .

ILuVMuNKeS: no

Tehtacofarie: yus

ILuVMuNKeS: no

Tehtacofarie: yus

ILuVMuNKeS: no

Tehtacofarie: yussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

ILuVMuNKeS: fine

Tehtacofarie: yay ok ahem is it true that u Alucard fought with Walter when he was 14 and was in the form of a little girl and refused to fight the werewolf saying that u were useless there?? True or false??

TheNoLifeKing: I hate u Hellsing :the dawn yes its true .

ILuVMuNKeS: my turn I just got a random question that a lot of ppl prly want 2 know would have saved Seras if she was a guy ?

TheNoLifeKing: ………. Damn you authoress no

Tehtacofarie: your sexist

ILuVMuNKeS: now rin try imaging a male seras

Tehtacofarie: …………XDDDDDD lmao wow that's horrible I see his point

TheNoLifeKing: thank you now its my turn to ask questions

Tehtacofarie: oh shizznit

ILuVMuNKeS: im scared rin

TheNoLifeKing: 0.o righhttt rin what all did my fledgling say

Tehtacofarie: meh not much she called me immature

ILuVMuNKeS: rin u are immature

TheNoLifeKing: ok so sque is it

ILuVMuNKeS: nah just a nickname

TheNoLifeKing: tell ur friend not to be so gullible I honestly don't think Sears could even talk someone out a wet paper bag

Tehtacofarie: sniff that's mean and be nice to sears just cus she wouldn't make a good man is cus she makes a 5555555555x better woman!!

ILuVMuNKeS: sigh fine common rin its almost time for anime night

ILuVMuNKeS: has singed off

Tehtacofarie: OK 0

TheNoLifeKing: bye

Tehtacofarie: see you later wit ur fine ass

TheNoLifeKing: what

Tehtacofarie: huh

TheNoLifeKing: nothing

TheNoLifeKing: has singed off

Tehtacofarie: has singed of

I hop this one makes up for the last one and its almighty crapynesssssss love ya'll bye


	3. guns and fangirls and gir and cake

**_ Hellsing MSN Taco/ Sup welcome to Hellsing msn part 3 XP_**

TheNoLifeKing: hmm there not on ……

TheNoLifeKing: _**is idle**_

Tehtacofarie: _**has singed on**_

ILuVMuNKeS: **_has singed on_**

Tehtacofarie: SQUEEGEE

Tehtacofarie: I missed youssss

ILuVMuNKeS: sigh rin u saw me three hours ago

Tehtacofarie: o.0 really

ILuVMuNKeS: yes really

Tehtacofarie: butts it seams like days YoY

ILuVMuNKeS: -.-

Tehtacofarie: hey hey hey hey what chu getting me for me b-day

ILuVMuNKeS: a brain

Tehtacofarie: meh

TheNoLifeKing: **_is back_**

Tehtacofarie: WTF

TheNoLifeKing: that not lady like language

ILuVMuNKeS: she's not a lady

TheNoLifeKing: true

Tehtacofarie: asses

ILuVMuNKeS: told you

Tehtacofarie: sniff fine be mean to the birth day girl

TheNoLifeKing: ??

ILuVMuNKeS: she's turning 17

Tehtacofarie: yup .

TheNoLifeKing: are you sure she's not turning five

ILuVMuNKeS: unfortunately -.-

Tehtacofarie: screw ya'll

Tehtacofarie **_has singed of_**

Tehtacofarie:**_ has logged off_**

TheNoLifeKing: ok

ILuVMuNKeS: she's sensitive she'll be alright

TheNoLifeKing: right

TheNoLifeKing: so what are you getting her

ILuVMuNKeS: meh money

TheNoLifeKing: ah

TheNoLifeKing: think she'll get back on

ILuVMuNKeS: prly

Angofdarkness225: **_has logged on_**

Angofdarkness225: **_has singed on_**

Angofdarkness225: what did u do sque

ILuVMuNKeS: hey kea and what do you mean what did I do

Angofdarkness225: rins pissed

ILuVMuNKeS: how pissed

Angofdarkness225: she's loading her shot gun

TheNoLifeKing: she has a shot gun

Angofdarkness225: yea and who are u

TheNoLifeKing: no one

Angofdarkness225: right

ILuVMuNKeS: im sooo dead

Angofdarkness225:yes yes you are

TheNoLifeKing:...

Angofdarkness225: she gets pissed really easy

TheNoLifeKing: ahh

Angofdarkness225: sque go apologize _befor she kills you_

ILuVMuNKeS: right

ILuVMuNKeS: brb

TheNoLifeKing: how do you know rin

Angofdarkness225: how do you know rin hmmmm

TheNoLifeKing: i don't

Angofdarkness225:hmm fair im her sister

TheNoLifeKing: ah

Angofdarkness225: well bye i have to go make sure she dosn't kill sque

TheNoLifeKing:...

Angofdarkness225: **_has singed off_**

Angofdarkness225: **_has logged off_**

TheNoLifeKing: sigh

TheNoLifeKing: **_is idle_**

30 minuets later

ILuVMuNKeS: im back

ILuVMuNKeS: hello

ILuVMuNKeS: allooooooooo

TheNoLifeKing: **_is back_**

TheNoLifeKing: so what happened

ILuVMuNKeS: i will never make her mad aging

TheNoLifeKing: what she do

ILuVMuNKeS: all you need to know is she has good aim

TheNoLifeKing: she shot you

ILuVMuNKeS: no she shot at the mini cake I bought her

TheNoLifeKing: 0.0 and didnt hit you

ILuVMuNKeS: ... no now that i think about it she kinda missed

TheNoLifeKing: ...ok

ILuVMuNKeS: wow think god for anime

TheNoLifeKing: !-.-

ILuVMuNKeS: i really o kea now

TheNoLifeKing: is she getting back on

ILuVMuNKeS: yeah she should be on in a few

TheNoLifeKing: right

Tehtacofarie: has logged on

Tehtacofarie: has signed on

ILuVMuNKeS: umm…. Hi

Tehtacofarie: I hate you both

TheNoLifeKing: really yesterday you said I had a fine ass

ILuVMuNKeS: she did!!

Tehtacofarie: sque shut up

ILuVMuNKeS: but rin i thought u were a shepy fangirl

Tehtacofarie: i am not a fangirl for anyone i just think there hot

ILuVMuNKeS: and not only that but a sessy fangirl 2

Tehtacofarie: sque...

ILuVMuNKeS: what will i tell the fanclubs

Tehtacofarie: im not part of any fanclubs!!

ILuVMuNKeS: what will ... gir think

Tehtacofarie: SSSSSQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEE!! listen damnit

ILuVMuNKeS: _meep_

TheNoLifeKing: _smirks_

Tehtacofarie: sque I will burn ur I/Z collection if you dont shut up

ILuVMuNKeS: but..._ shit_

Tehtacofarie: fine i warned you

ILuVMuNKeS: points . EEEVVVIIILLL

TheNoLifeKing: no threats for me smirks J

Tehtacofarie: !-.- fine and there not threats there promises

ILuVMuNKeS: you shuldnt have done that ally

Tehtacofarie: I will tell your fangirls your msn adress by putting is on you tube

TheNoLifeKing: do not call me ally

TheNoLifeKing: wtf is you tube

Tehtacofarie: now ill be right back

Tehtacofarie: **_is idle_**

TheNoLifeKing: bad move

ILuVMuNKeS: bad move

IluvAluCard: has singed on

TheNoLifeKing: shit

AlucardsGurl: has logged on

AlucardsGurl: has singed on

IluvAluCard: omg its Alucard yay

TheNoLifeKing: pales

AlucardsGurl: faints

Alucardissexy: has singed on

TheNoLifeKing: oh shit

Tehtacofarie: **_is back_**

Tehtacofarie: sque check ur room

ILuVMuNKeS: y

Tehtacofarie: _evil grin_ just do it

ILuVMuNKeS: ok...brb

TheNoLifeKing: what did you do

Tehtacofarie: reveng alucard reveng

1 minet later

ILuVMuNKeS: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo she burnt my gir dolls and gaz and zim and dib whyyyyyyy rin whyyyyyyy

TheNoLifeKing: wow

giggTehtacofarie: hmmm I fell better

IluvAluCard: giggle he said wow

Tehtacofarie: rigghhthtt

IluvAluCard: hess sooo smexyyy

ILuVMuNKeS: whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy TTTTTTTTTTT

TheNoLifeKing: that's it im leaving

Tehtacofarie: i'll wait on sque

TheNoLifeKing: good for you

TheNoLifeKing: has singed out

TheNoLifeKing: has logged out

ILuVMuNKeS: TTTTTT

IluvAluCard: nnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alucardissexy: wha why did he leave us

IluvAluCard: we only want to bone him like when i went to bone my girl...i mean boy friend but then he said there was no way

ILuVMuNKeS: sniff sniff gir

ILuVMuNKeS: wait what haha bone him wow

IluvAluCard: why wouldnt he want that

Tehtacofarie: sque you answer that

Tehtacofarie: sque...u there

ILuVMuNKeS: oh right

ILuVMuNKeS: because u touch yourself at night and at daytime and in the mourning

ILuVMuNKeS: now I have to go bury my invaders dolls sniff

Tehtacofarie: kk I guess I'll go too

Tehtacofarie: **_has singed out_**

ILuVMuNKeS: **_has singed out _**

IluvAluCard: **_has singed out_**

Alucardissexy: **_has signed out_**

Alucardissexy: **_has logged out_**

AlucardsGurl: wakes up

AlucardsGurl: huh where'd they go meh

AlucardsGurl: **_has singed out_**

**_………………………………..._**

Meanwhile at Hellsing org.

Alucard. Alucard ALUCARD GET OFF MSN NOW

Yes master

You and seras have another mission in…………

DunnDunnnDunnnn wonder what the mission is. Dose it have to do with rin and sque or just random vamps. Who knows I do. MWAhahahahHAHAHAHhaha!! Love ya bye ! (taco:thank u family guy)

J J J J J


	4. it to late to Apologize

Hellsing msn

Yays my writers block is gone woooooooohhhh!!!! So is my flu, I can move now .

**_warrning:: crappyness in this chapter may cause bleeding of the eyes, bashing head aginst you computer for hours ,and dieriah _**

**_you have been warned!!!!_**

Ok "actions" _thinking_ and 'speaking' chatting

_**5:12p.m **_

Tehtacofarie: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: .........ello.....

Tehtacofarie: squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sexy back?????????????????? poo bear

honeyismylove:has logged on

honeyismylove:umm have you seen piglet

Tehtacofarie:umm no

honeyismylove: why think you ill look els where

honeyismylove: has looged off

Tehtacofarie: mom?????_plz dont work plz dont work_

Momz41: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: O.O!!!!!!!_$#!+_

Momz41: hi honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tehtacofarie: o.0 mom aren't you at work

Momz41: im on break

Tehtacofarie:right well go back to work

Momz41:sure hun

Tehtacofarie:uhh kay

Momz41: oh and rin honey don't eat the icing im making cupcakes later on in the weak

Tehtacofarie: yes ma'am ^_^_frreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_

Momz41: oh and don't print out a book aging I know I was a novel and Stevin King but still

Tehtacofarie: I only did that once and it was Edgar al- nevermind bye love you

Momz41: you to bye rin

Momz41: has logged out

Tehtacofarie: hmmmm ill go look at yugioh abridged

Tehtacofarie: is idle

_**Somewhere , and sometime in England **_

'There have been thirty murders since last Tuesday' said a woman in a mans suit with long light blond hair smoking a looked to be

thinking hard ,like something was terrifying on the loose'Her name was Sir Inteagra They are all centered toward one of the most well

knownmurderues in stooped to take a hit of her half gone cigar. Jack the ripper and, itstechniques. though as you are a-' BUT

MASTER I THOUGHT THAT JACK THE RIPPER ONLY KILLED 5 PEOPLE!!!!!' said a blond with big boobs named Seras Victoria but known as kitty

cus thats what shes called./taco: lets just call her boobs XD/ holding up five fingers Thewoman took allong drag and put out the cigar '

……….ahem any way before kitty interrupted me and stated the obvious they are not prostitutes but virgins What we dont know is why virgins

why kill one who is pure' Alucard 'hmm so you suspect a vampire.'

'Yes I do. but whats the motive' Its in down town and midtown London only you two will be going no officers' 'oh and Alucard did you feed the

refugees this time''i tought you did' 'ALUCARD' 'I told you you could keep kitty if you feed those Mexicans' ' i thought you did' come one more

wont hurt '/taco: no offense to anyone if you fell offended tell me ill take it off/ 'come on kitty lets go''meow'_i hate you athouress_

7:10 p.m.

Tehtacofarie: is back

Tehtacofarie: WTF no ones on f#%

ILuVMuNKeS: has singed on

Tehtacofarie:_it happend aging hi^.^_

ILuVMuNKeS: riinnniii guess what!!!!

Tehtacofarie: -.- what_ she had a date_

ILuVMuNKeS: I had a date!!!!!!!

Tehtacofarie: yay you _knew it_

ILuVMuNKeS: and he has a friend that I think u will like

Tehtacofarie: no no more blind dates _i will kill you_

ILuVMuNKeS: pllllzzzzzzz _hes so sexy im in my happy place happy place_

Tehtacofarie: don't make me get my guns…. Aging

ILuVMuNKeS: sigh fine

ILuVMuNKeS: talk to the so called Alucard lately

Tehtacofarie: _eyes computer suspiciously _no why am i suppose to

ILuVMuNKeS: no and hell nah hey turn on ur webcam

Tehtacofarie: ok

_Turns on web cams _

_Only to see sque dressed as a pimping Alucard _

_and rin im her jammies_

Tehtacofarie: lmao holyshit

ILuVMuNKeS: happy birthday u bitch lmoa

Tehtacofarie: I call being Sir Integra

ILuVMuNKeS: why I got to be ur ho i mean you stole my spongebob boxers

Tehtacofarie: look at it this way were both pimping seras, so we can buy lots of songe bob stuff

ILuVMuNKeS: true true more money for u though u got me

Tehtacofarie: no cuz I got u as Alucard ethahway money

ILuVMuNKeS: so hows ur mom

Tehtacofarie: dont you mean how her job

Momz41: has logged on

Tehtacofarie: $#!+

Momz41: hi kids rin honey ill be home in 30min so be a dear and go to the store and buy drinks

Tehtacofarie: ok….

Momz41: oh and bring kea I want to make margaritas to night im having friends come over from work and ur not 21

Tehtacofarie: ok whos coming over

Momz41: Inky, Mica, and Sofia

Tehtacofarie: fine_ three of the bigest sluts known to man_

Momz41: love you bye

Momz41: has logged off

Tehtacofarie: well bye sque

ILuVMuNKeS: dude wait

ILuVMuNKeS: u ok

Tehtacofarie:im fine

ILuVMuNKeS: shes still a ....

Tehtacofarie:yeah

ILuVMuNKeS:damn

Tehtacofarie: I know

ILuVMuNKeS:much luv

Tehtacofarie:bye sque

Tehtacofarie: has logged out

ILuVMuNKeS: has logged out

/ taco: sorry it so boring in this chapter but its importing somehow. Anyway I need food so do what cha do ……..oh and think you Hellsing abridged for the kitty joke look it up on you tube it funny as hell. Love you all except you Madeline you fat ass whore. Bye


	5. cookies are good for teh soul

Sup ppl taco is back. No more writers bock woo. I would like to give a thank every on who reads this. Thankies =^.^=!!!!!!!!!!! Now on to the MSN

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now I present Hellsing MSN

Tehtacofarie: has signed on

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: has singed on

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: sup bitch

Tehtacofarie: squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: yus

Tehtacofarie: you ho you o meh moneh

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: . . . no I don't that's girly card

Tehtacofarie: oh true true

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: ^.^ he owes meh moneh 2

Tehtacofarie: the whore

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo when's he getting on

Tehtacofarie: do u rly care

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: no

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: hey hey got any cookies

Tehtacofarie: . . . who wants to know

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: Mr. wink that's who

Tehtacofarie: got milk

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: yup trade

Tehtacofarie: sure . . .

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: meet me in 45 mins at my place we do our trade there

Tehtacofarie: yus

Sexy-cop: has singed on

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: WTF a popo run

Tehtacofarie: oh shit hide meh

Sexy-cop: what the- never mind

Tehtacofarie: who ish you you popo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sexy-cop: my name is seras victor-

Tehtacofarie: no ur kitty

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: lmao heehee kitty

Sexy-cop: no my name is seras Victoria

Tehtacofarie: shut up kitty

Sexy-cop: screw this

Sexy-cop: has logged off

Tehtacofarie: , pms much

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: fewnesses

Im-Not-Alfred: has logged on

Im-Not-Alfred: has singed on

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: holy shit it its Walter bows down at Walters awesomeness

Im-Not-Alfred: …?

Tehtacofarie: holy shit yaynessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Im-Not-Alfred: hello?//he's confused//

Tehtacofarie: hey Walter where's Alucard

Im-Not-Alfred: he's sleeping

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: hey dose he have a puter in his room

Tehtacofarie: yussss dose he

Waits five mins

.

..

…

….

…..

Im-Not-Alfred: oh computer yes I believe he does **_/taco: sry I had to make Walter go old guy on them sry/_**

Tehtacofarie: sweet

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: totally hey brb

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: is idle

Im-Not-Alfred: ok? _**//also doesn't speak txt tlk//**_

Tehtacofarie: soooooooooooooooo……

Im-Not-Alfred: so only has one o young lady …you are a girl right ??????

Tehtacofarie: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh online predator run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im-Not-Alfred: what the fu-

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

With sque ….

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

''Mwahahahaha this will wake his ass up its …'checks clock' 3:00 a.m. here soooooo it should be past noon there vamp or not he's wakening up! Now where is that video hmmmmmmmmmm. Ah here it is wakalaka sung by Alvin and the chipmunks perfect.'' **Mwahahahaha wacky wake up time bitch!!!!** Now send yady yady yada yay perfect annoying alarm now send !

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

With Alucard

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz hmmm Cheri Kool-Aid Zzzzzzzzzzzzz hmmm Integra

3 2 1 are you ready WAKA LAKA WAKALAKA WE CAN BE- **WHAT THE FUC- **

**0.o I HATE YOU AUTHORESS **//taco: screw you to then I might have to make you where a dress next chapter//

.**Never mind **//taco: good puts tutu away//

**Sigh **'gets medical blood bag' **hmmm WTF is you tube…. Hmmm I wonder **'puts Hellsing in the search bar'//don't ask why just go with it//Hellsing abridged???? **WTF SERAS HAS AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I DON'T LOOK LIKE CARMEN SANDIEGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

BACK TO THE CHAT ROOM

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tehtacofarie: so Walter do you really do use dental filose

Im-Not-Alfred: oh no I use specialty made wires

Tehtacofarie: rly how do you keep from not cutting any limbs off

Im-Not-Alfred: years of practice

Tehtacofarie: nice im pretty good with a gun and knives I like knives

Im-Not-Alfred: lol that's nice

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: is no longer idle

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: sup

Tehtacofarie: hi

Im-Not-Alfred: hello

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: 'scrolls up' holly shit did Walter txt tlk

Im-Not-Alfred: yes rins been teaching me

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: sweet

Tehtacofarie: aint it

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: has logged on

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: yay he's up

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: who sent me that … that thing that woke me up

Tehtacofarie: sque did it

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: uh it was uh a wake up vid

Im-Not-Alfred: they woke you up Alucard

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: … I still say I hat-//taco: say it and ur wearing a tutu//

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: : heehee love this job

Im-Not-Alfred: I wonder what Alucard look like in a tutu

Tehtacofarie: pictures 'Alucard in a tutu' giggle snorts

Tehtacofarie: oh shit sque we got a cookie thingy to do we gots to go

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: oh yeah you bring the drinks I got the cookies

Im-Not-Alfred: ok then

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: you woke me up just so you could leave

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: yeah that's about right

Im-Not-Alfred: you sound almost upset

Tehtacofarie: hmm oh wells bye loves you both XDDDDDD

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: bye…

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: bye bitches

Im-Not-Alfred: bye

Tehtacofarie: has singed off

Girxroxxmahxsoxs: has singed off

Im-Not-Alfred: I have to bring sir. Integra her tea

Im-Not-Alfred: has signed off h

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: has singed off

Im-Not-Alfred: as logged off

ThexxNoxxLifexxKing: has logged off

Sexy-cop: has singed on

Sexy-cop: hello anyone on

Sexy-cop: hello hellllooooooooooooooooo

Sexy-cop: DAMNIT no ones on . . . I think pip is sexy

Pipxtoxsexy: has logged on

Sexy-cop: uh hello

Pipxtoxsexy: sup seras its pip

Sexy-cop: oh shit

Sexy-cop: has logged off

Pipxtoxsexy: huh scrolls up nice im ganna get me some

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And that's all folks! Hope u liked it thanks to my cuzing who got meh to write this and damn writes block go bye bye !!!!


	6. holy shit it clones and an after party

Sup ppl taco here with part 6 woo this is my chapter ish my chapter special because my niece is turning six soon!!! So now for another chapter of Hellsing msn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**_Hellsing MSN_**

Tehtacofarie: has singed on

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: sup bitch

Tehtacofarie: sup mah ho

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen

Tehtacofarie: WHAT damn you sound like navi fu-

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: shut ya mouth

Tehtacofarie: ok…

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: now you ever noticed how jiro from bad blood brothers can be Alucards twin

Tehtacofarie: yup

Tehtacofarie: they both smexy

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: true true

Tehtacofarie: when's Walter getting on

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: I don't knooooooooooowwww

Im-not-Alfred: has singed on

Tehtacofarie: holy shit

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: yayness Walter

Im-not-Alfred: sup my homies

Tehtacofarie: the f#% O.o

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: wha…

Im-not-Alfred: I'm only speaking slang yo

Tehtacofarie: plz stop T^T and turn back into the Walter we know and love

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: plz

Im-not-Alfred: ??? But Seras told me …

Tehtacofarie: no no listening to Seras

Im-not-Alfred: ok??

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: ooooooh a monkey

Tehtacofarie: nuu its after my coco puffs

Im-not-Alfred: im ganna leave now

Im-not-Alfred: has singed off

Tehtacofarie: meh gess he's not up for randomness today

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: yup hey I got roll models on bootleg

Tehtacofarie: sweet

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: totally

I'mawomandamnit: has logged on //taco: a cookie to who can guess who this is//

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: who bes you

Tehtacofarie: I bes rin bitch who you

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: I ish sque but not you her or is it a he I cant tell to cluttered

I'mawomandamnit: I'm a woman f!R%^^#$^$#%&(*()_()*#%&FY%^&&(^&*#$%I5&(*X4*D56&6F645%^&67u&^$^4wh&*(^!&*&(f(u&^$t!!~*f))h_+)mt!$^&godd*&%fu!h!$^^% baloney

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: T.T sry

Tehtacofarie: uh hi sir integra

I'mawomandamnit: …hello have you heard from Alucard I haven't seen him since yesterday

Tehtacofarie: nope

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: nuu-uhh

I'mawomandamnit: hmm alright then goodbye

Tehtacofarie: bye scary lady

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: bye shim ... Uh... ma-am... uh sir...

Tehtacofarie: sque... stop while ur stile alive

I'mawomandamnit: has signed out

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: creepy

Tehtacofarie: yus very

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : has singed on

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : psst psst rin sque help me

Tehtacofarie: who are you and how do you know us

Tehtacofarie: child preadto000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : NO ITS-

Tehtacofarie: Vash the Stamppdiddy

Tehtacofarie: Jiro the sexy shit

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: holy shizznit its Vincent Valentine I mean Alucard

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : NO IM ALU- I MEAN YES thank you

Tehtacofarie: where just messing wit you sinker integras bitch

Nnyxroxsmyxsox: rofl lmao yeah what you want

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : i am at a cafe useing there computer help me

Nnyxroxsmyxsox:once more why

Imxnotxintergrasxbitch : I need to hide integras trying to put me in a

Tehtacofarie:yus why

Tehtacofarie: curse my slow typing

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Intermission dun dun dun what is integra trying to put Alucard in will this story ever get a plot will sque get new iz dolls will rin ever get her nachos wait dose that have anything to do with this story will I ever shut up find out eventually on Hellsing MSN …. . //dun dun dun//

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rin : WTF that's it I want to find out

Taco: yeah sure you do

Sque: how much am I getting paid

Alucard: im hungry got blood//looks at taco//

Taco: what joo want me to do bout it

Alucard you the aurt-nevermind

Taco://puts mini dress away// good

Walter: here you are mutters by the way I should be a main character//pouty face//

Taco: but you are along with rin, sque, and alucard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sque: wait im a main character sweet//peace sign//

Rin : but im the mainest main character//punches fist in air//

Alucard: no I am //drinks blood//

Rin : no i am die // pounces on alucard//

Seras: I don't even have any screen time

Taco: cus no one likes you hell I don't like you

Rin : I don't//still trying to kill alucard//admitit damnit

Sque: nope

Walter: boobs????

Alucard: 'ill go with answer all of the above//trying to pry off rin//off you off

Taco: that blood has aids//looks at blood pack//

Alucard: so did seras joking joking

Rin: sure you are//kicks alucard in the chin// admit it damnit

Girllicard: where is my screen time//looks at alucard//nowonder

Alucard://not paying ationtion//fine

Rin: sweet//hugs alucard and skips away//

Taco:/Sque: totally

Alucard: 0.0 hide me shes to happy

Squee: no shes not

Rin:/Taco:/Sque: hugs (^.^)

Taco:Well thats all for now. Walter take the ending

Walter: right that's all folks and hopefully taco doesn't get sued for stealing the Lonny toons catch phrase

Bugs: ah what's up doc

Taz: dfvfjukil;riuio;lujrgvdftgbytukyjefhb

Bugs: were here to talk about our ending phrase

Taco: Oh shit run

Bugs: //pulls out phone from nowhere// we got runners

_**The end of chapter six **_


	7. holy s! it a a a a cookie

Sup taco here with part seven woooooooo it snowed in Louisiana!!!! it's a f-ing miracle!!! I'm so happy, happy now plus im on a sugar high . And I got shout outs sooo lets here it for Lady Nightlord and pulmalchemyst !!!!! I hopes I spelled it right!!! Now on tooooo Hellsing M.S.N.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bugs: ah wats up doc

Taco: okay I wont use anymore lonnytoon refs.

Hellsing M S N

Tehtacofarie: has logged on

Tehtacofarie: has singed on

ImXnotXalucardX: has singed on

_Girs_Doom_Song_: has logged on

_Girs_Doom_Song_: has logged on

_Girs_Doom_Song_: everyone here

ImXnotXalucardX: yup

Tehtacofarie: yeah okay ally you were saying

ImXnotXalucardX: she's goi- wait ally Do. Not. Call. Me. Ally. Ok.

Tehtacofarie: Whatever ally

ImXnotXalucardX: I kill you

_Girs_Doom_Song_: //ish amused//

Tehtacofarie: no "you" wont "ally"

ImXnotXalucardX: and why not and stop it shit

_Girs_Doom_Song_: taco wont allow it

Tehtacofarie: no well that to but he needs a place to hide

ImXnotXalucardX: I hate you taco //shut up ally or should I say Girllicard//

Tehtacofarie: you were saying

_Girs_Doom_Song_: that was my line

ImXnotXalucardX: shut up both of you and let me talk

_Girs_Doom_Song_: kk

Tehtacofarie: o-tay

ImXnotXalucardX: she wants to dress me up as Santa or whatever

Tehtacofarie: lmao no way

_Girs_Doom_Song_: lol XDDDDDD that's omg I cant even think of any thing to say lol

ImXnotXalucardX: its not funny she even wants me to fight freaks dressed as him

Tehtacofarie: now that's going to far

_Girs_Doom_Song_: say no

ImXnotXalucardX: wha???

_Girs_Doom_Song_: S. A. Y. N. O.

ImXnotXalucardX: cant I wont get blood

Tehtacofarie: well go hunt I mean you can still com stay at my place cuz I mean hey no ones ganna notice and I volunteer at the blood drive so I can sneak you some

ImXnotXalucardX: //smirks// you'd do that for me.

Tehtacofarie: yeah why not //shrugs//

_Girs_Doom_Song_: ooooooh ooooooh you can even help wit our problem

Tehtacofarie: =^.^= yus

ImXnotXalucardX: what problem

Tehtacofarie: we need

_Girs_Doom_Song_: cookies

ImXnotXalucardX: //anime falls//no comment

_Girs_Doom_Song_: hey where given you a place to stay and

Tehtacofarie: and blood

ImXnotXalucardX: fine

Tehtacofarie: kk ill send you mah adress

Tehtacofarie: Tehtacofarie is sending ImXnotXalucardX a privet message

Tehtacofarie: done

ImXnotXalucardX: ok ill be there im a few minutes I have to sigh of and destroy this computer

Tehtacofarie: okay????

_Girs_Doom_Song_: big BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ImXnotXalucardX: has singed out

ImXnotXalucardX: has logged out

Tehtacofarie: hmm well want to come ova

_Girs_Doom_Song_: not much else to do

Tehtacofarie: Kk

_Girs_Doom_Song_: has sine-

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rins house

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

//rins pov//

I turned off my puter then went downstairs into the kitchen to get a cold drink. With a sigh I went into the living room. ' now family guy now where that clicker' "ring phones ringing hey pick up phones ri-" Came the annoying phone of doom 'Gretna city morgue you killing we chilling bitches and hoes get 25% off ' ' rinah sup open the door' ' okay hold up' Running to the door I bumped into none other than……….

that's all uh.. Looks at bugs

Bugs: we will sue if you say it

People

Bugs: ah that's a good girl


	8. hellsong msn abriged yo

Hellsing M.S.N

Hey taco here sry I haven't been writing in a wile. I blame writers block. Well I sjall write two or three stories today!!!!

Recap::: Sque' o m g it ish a pie monkey' //''Rin: what will I do where will I go" Alucard: frankly my dear I don't give a damn Rin: T^T// Walter: Alucard I'm pregnant with your child Alucard: the FUC-// Sque: its PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME// Rin: dose the chicken dance// Walter: Mr. J im preggers // Alucard: wait did any of this happen

Rin: I don't know Sque: o m g Alucard you got Walter pregnatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoooessss Walter/Alucard: hell noooooooooo Rin: on wit deh show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taco I ish evil now Alucard disclaimer NOWW !!!

Rin I wanna do it!!!

Alucard yes let her do it

Sque heh do it XD

Taco fine

Rin: taco dose not own any Hellsing characters only meh and sque and other random ppl that show up!!!!=^.^=

Taco Thankies heres a cookie!!!

Rin yay now on wit deh show

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Deh show

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rin: HOLY SHITY SHIT MC SHIT ON A STICK!!!! Rin looked up only to see Sque!! Ha-ha thought it was Alucard huh!!! Sque: hi short person =^.^= ""knock KNOCK knock"" Hey who's out side Sque: dun no? [I really need to get a rubber chicken] ""knock knock knock"" 'you getting that' Rin: meh yeah' opens door only to see……………………………….......................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................................................

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................A) Walter B) Alucard c) a hobo asking for change D) a pie monkey or E) all of the above

You will find out in the next chapter up soonnnnnnn yo

After show:

Sque :Martini Plz

Alucard : Blood plz

Taco : cookies and ice-cream plz

Rin : All of the above plz

Sque/Alucard/Taco: 0.o 0.0 o.0 WTF

Rin : wats I got a pet bat I named him kook

Walter : a vacation plz

Sir integra : no

Walter : T.T

Rin : here kook

Kook: ^.^

Rin: o m g its the joker

Sque : where

G-ed-out Joker : sup bitches

Sque-faints

G-ed-out Joker : yeah what yeah uh huh

Walter : the fu-

Alucard : more blood

Alucard : blood appears out of nowhere

Rin: the hell

Taco : well that's all . . . gets shot gun shoots bugs

Bugs x.x

Taco :folks


	9. walter what ish joo on

Hellsing MSN

Taco back yo

Alucard: I will be in this one right

Taco: dun no

Rin: im the main character im in all of them

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

STORY_______________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

3rd person

Rin went to open the door and there was Walter with a note and dressed very stupidly. In a trench coat and a scarf. Rin: Walter what a- Walter: shhhhh I have a message from the no vampire count bitch life thingy.. Rin: Walt- Walter: shhhhh Mr. pie monkey Rin: okay Mr. pie Monkey what are you on?? Mr. pie Monkey: I don't know anymore sque: I fell the same man!!! Walter I mean Mr. pie monkey ran inside and closed the door! Rin had a WTF face and sque was well sque. Sque: sooo Mr. pie monk- Mr. Pie Monkey: Walter I im Walter now . . . Rin: Righhttt Walter : here This is From Alucard And with that he use a smoke bomb it went poof. Walter: I am a ninja!!! Rin: your still here Walter: damn Ninja store it said ill go poof!!! Sque: I know I got ripped of there to.

Rin: Walter just go -.-. He didn't leave thro the door but the window!!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The letter

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1st person Rins pov.

I opened the letter and read very neat handwriting

_**To Rin **_

_**when you get this I will be in the united sates I need you to go to this chat to get further information [enter chat here] at [enter time here] **_

_**, From Alucard **_

Rin: what the hell am I getting into oh well at least he doesn't sparkle.

Is it me or did my story just get a plot lol i know its short but hey its two in one day i might make another one but i need food first soo yeah!!!


	10. shoop da whoop

Hellsing MSN

Taco here well this is the third today so I am making up for the lack of writing.

This is my 10th chapter yay. It is going back to msn for this chapter so on wit the show!

AlucardX : shell be on any minute now

Ixluvxgaarax: has logged on

Ixluvxgaarax: has singed on

AlucardX: rin?

Ixluvxgaarax: yup

AlucardX: I need help

Ixluvxgaarax: ooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy sure you do

AlucardX: integer is trying to dress me up in tutus and dresses

Ixluvxgaarax: /snicker/ y

AlucardX: she read Hellsing the dawn

Ixluvxgaarax: oh well that will do it

AlucardX: can I live with you puppy dog eyes

Ixluvxgaarax: no

AlucardX: what why

Ixluvxgaarax: you are a psychotic blood thirsty vampire who will prly drain me in my sleep and I will be dead so no

AlucardX: good point

Ixluvxgaarax: I know

AlucardX: If I swear that I wont can I come

Ixluvxgaarax: sigh you have to get a job and no feeding on humans on animals and medical blood and the occasional douche but only for two weeks deal

AlucardX: /smirk this is going to be fun/ sigh fine

Ixluvxgaarax: be here in 5 minutes or you cant stay here

AlucardX: /smirks wider/ fine

Omg-its-gir: sup bitches its sque yo

Ixluvxgaarax: yo ho

AlucardX: uh yo mo???

Omg-its-gir: right….

Ixluvxgaarax: …

AlucardX: what

Omg-its-gir: hey a pie-monkey and a hobo and a kitty and a talking tulip with a horse named bob is at my house and they have special brownies

Ixluvxgaarax: sque the men in white coats are long over do

Omg-its-gir: oh there here to they brought the brownies

AlucardX: I must go now

Ixluvxgaarax: w t f

Omg-its-gir: o m g it Jesus

AlucardX: that's why oh and I only have 3 minutes left

Ixluvxgaarax: sque im coming over to make sure you ah hell I want some

AlucardX: has logged off

Ixluvxgaarax: has logged off

Omg-its-gir: snoop dah whoop partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Omg-its-gir: has logged off

Wow I fell random im sry I had to throw randomness in there the plot was killing meh!!!!

So sry

=^.^= ^.^=^.^=^.^=.^.^= moocows are awsomeness


End file.
